2008 is coming to a close.

What a year it was for me.

More good than bad I daresay, and I am thankful for it. I graduated high school, I met a very special person, I became an adult (kind of), I made some new friends, I started college and I came to terms with a few issues.

I also grew apart from people, I learned what true fear is, and I learned what true sacrifice is.

I forgave someone.

Altogether it was an awesome year. I can only hope and pray and try my hardest to make next year even better. I wish everyone a Happy New Year and I hope you all had a merry Christmas.

Next time I post, it will be in 2009!

My Mom says...

I need to learn how to love myself. The only problem with that is my complete lack of knowledge on the subject. Loving oneself? I've never truly understood how it's supposed to work or how you go about such a process. But I don't think it's impossible. Physical impossibilities exist, but self-actualization is very real and very difficult. To be honest, I'd rather go through the process than take medication, which my mother has implicated to more than once. So, I'll start with baby steps by listing as many things about myself that I truly love as I can. God, this is going to be the lamest blog ever, but here goes:

1. I love my eyes. I will admit that they are very unique because they are large and round (dirty). I learned in seventh grade that round eyes are actually the inferior gene that you inherit when you are born. Most people are born with almond shaped eyes. Plus, I can look like an alien, a lemur, and a dead person all at once. And if you look at my baby pictures, my eyes take up half of my face. It's awesome.
   
2. I seriously don't mind being goofy. I can make fun of myself and it isn't a negative reflection of me, its just me being comfortable with some of my flaws. I can act immature and say the dumbest shit and its okay because self-deprecation is actually a great confidence booster (in my case anyways).
3. I love my body. That's the most narcissistic statement I will ever make, but it's true. And it's not even because I think I'm beautiful, but I have the fastest metabolism in the human race. I have truly been blessed. I doubt I'll ever have problems with weight in my lifetime. I don't mind being ultra-skinny and I like it in fact. And I actually filled out over the last few months, so I don't look like a walking broom-stick anymore...Sweet.
4. I love my teeth. They are rather large and shiny and white, just like my dad's. They were straight, but that's okay. I'm getting them fixed.
5. I love the fact that I need change. I crave change and if I don't have it I go crazy. That just tells me I will live a fulfilling and memorable life. When I die, I won't have regrets that I didn't do enough.
6. I love that I like to read. No, love to read. Since the moment I knew what a book was, I was reading. I just sort read stuff and sucked it all up like a sponge. And I'm still that way. I can't imagine a life without books surrounding me.

Yeah...to be honest, that's about it. Didn't really dig deep there.

But I'm taking baby steps.

I Link, Therefore I Am.

Indeed, there is a book that has finally been written for me and I discovered it last night at Barnes and Noble. 'Twas a glorious moment. As I was searching the Philosophy section for Thus Spoke Zarathustra, I stumbled across the most prolific piece of writing ever written for geeks:

The Legend of Zelda and Philosophy.

It was one of those moments every person experiences in their lives; a moment of pure unadulterated joy and exhilaration, the natural high, so to speak. That moment when you begin to hyper-ventilate, tears well up from the depths of your soul and exuberant laughs and cries spill forth from your body. Eventually I calmed myself down, but I'm still not off that high, as I have only begun the first chapter of the book.

Already I have delved into the philosophical theories of the emotional connection between the gamer and the actual game. God does exist.

Please do yourself a favor, especially so if you're a long-time Zelda fan, and read this book.

The Lord of The Rings

My training session for work wasn't nearly as arduous as I thought it would be, so that actually made me quite happy on some level.

Now I'm at home, reading through the Fellowship of the Ring, or the last parts of it anyways. I've already read the book once but I love the last few chapters because the characters go through so many revelations...

Frodo realizes that he has to make his journey to destroy the ring alone if he wants to avoid hurting his friends. I admired Frodo but more than admiration for him, I felt the pain of being trapped. He never wanted the responsibility of destroying the ring. At some point he knew it would destroy him, that he would never be the same after his journey, but he accepted it with a sort of sad diligence...he'd rather sacrifice himself than watch his home burn to the ground.

Out of every character in the books, I admire Sam the most. He remains the beacon of light for Frodo, in the darkest most dismal places. I respect him most for that. For deciding to stay with Frodo even when he knew he might never come back to the Shire. But that's the beauty of Sam. Not once did he every hint at his own demise, or even Frodo's. He remains hopeful and headstrong, telling Frodo that he has to save food for the journey home. I love Sam.

He's everything I want to be.

Hm.

I've been trying to write some kind of interesting blog for the last forty five minutes, but I just erasing it and starting over. I'm being far too elaborate about all this. So I suppose I'll just let it all out.

1. I'm glad my ethnography is done and turned in. Sweet Jesus!
2. My grandma's going bat-shit crazy and it's really fucking sad to watch.
3. I'm mildly terrified about the fact that my boyfriend and I have completely different schedules next semester.
4. I miss my Dad horribly.
5. Christmas has lost all magic for me.
6. I'm having the WORST self-esteem issues right now.
7. And to end on a good note, I'm not dead or a conservative asshole. Both are equally sinister.

That's about it. Today is a weird day.

Meeting Gerard Way...Again.

I was going to write a huge epic blog about my entire day in Hollywood in this, but I feel it is completely irrelevant at this point.

In a nutshell, I drove myself and four others (Camille, Lea, Emily and Easter) to Hollywood at eight in the morning. We waited in line for an hour in the half for the passes we would then need to meet Gerard Way later that evening (ten HOURS later...Lord).

Hollywood is a strange place. The people are strange, the places are strange...it's just strange. But in a way that I like. I got to see Grahman's Chinese Theatre, the main gathering place of fifty different character actors (I saw at least three Batmans).

But, since this is about Gerard, I will say that he is a laid-back and down-to-earth individual, who really does want to please his fans. Our conversation:

Gerard: Hi. What's your name?
Gabby: Gabby.
*signs comic. Sees my drawing of the White Violin...*
Gerard: Did you do that?
Gabby: Yeah, you like it?
Gerard: It's awesome, really good.
Gabby: Thanks...but I think she needs a Gerard Way tattoo on her leg.
Gerard: *blushes* Is that what you want?
Gabby: Yeah. I think it would really complement her.

I made Gerard Way laugh and blush.

Epic.

I Give Myself Too Much Credit...

I seem to have this ongoing idea in my head that I am capable of responsibilities that could very well get me:
a) arrested.
b) hospitalized.
c) kidnapped.
d) blamed.
e) all of the above.

I've considered a-d and have decided that e is the most appropriate answer when I think about driving to Los Angeles tomorrow. For some stupid fucking reason, I thought it would be a grand idea to stuff five people in my tiny 2000 Toyota Echo (two of them being eleven year-olds) and drive an hour and a half to Hollywood at 8:00 in the AM in order to purchase something at a comic shop I've never been to so that we can get tickets to meet Gerard Way ten hours later at 8:00 in the evening, all the while driving through Hollywood trying to find something to do, even though I've never been to that part of Hollywood before and I hate people there as it is.

>_>

Suicide has crossed my mind twice, but in all honesty, I'm not selfish enough to kill myself, not to mention that I don't have the patience to figure out some immaculate and grand way to end my existence.

For Dalai Lama's sake, why would I ever want to drive to Los Angeles early in the morning? Why would I want to take responsibility for two eleven year-olds, one of them increasingly annoying? Why would I want to be forced to worry about my piece of shit car breaking down, even when I already know that it can't hold that many people in the first place? I'll tell you:

I give myself way too much credit. I somehow think that I'm some sort of amazing person that can make this kind of shit happen and work flawlessly, that I can just plan something and expect everything to work in my favor.

In truth I'd rather sit back and let someone else take the reins on wacko trips like this. What surprises me more is the shit hasn't hit the fan quite yet. But tomorrow could end my lucky streak.

Just do me a favor and pray for me, think positive thoughts for me or at least pity me. Somehow, it will help. The only reason I'm going through with it this late in the game is the fact that there's four people counting on me.

*Writes "martyr" on forehead*

I would say that it's worth meeting Gerard Way, but I've gotten to the point in my life where no one is truly worth meeting for all this trouble unless it's Jesus Christ himself. Sorry Gerard, it's not that I don't think you're awesome, it's just that anxiety is the cheese to my macaroni.

Thank you Juno.

To Begin With...

Does anyone have a clue if Left 4 Dead is worth my money? Because that's a month of car insurance and three days of lunch I give up if I buy this game, so if someone could just get me in on the DL, I'd be more than happy to take you out to dinner.

Ahem.

So, I'm new on here. I suppose I shall give a brief introduction, as this is a blog, and I feel I should be as narcissistic as possible.

So this blog is a general bitchfest along with whatever else happens to find its way into my brain including, but not limited to: stupid people, sexual relations ("hypothetical" of course), puppies, horribly melodramatic poetry, food and shitty drivers.

I'm a college student in Orange County, California. No, I do not like the ocean, I don't surf, and I don't live in Laguna Beach or Coto de Caza and I fucking hate The Real Housewives of Orange County. Them bitches is WACK. (/blackperson) My life is quite simple at the moment, so I'll probably be posting on here a LOT. College students have no life, whether they want to admit it or not. I have fabulous friends, a wonderfully strange boyfriend, a rather dysfunctional family (LOLZ) and a crazy crack puppy who seems to have an affinity with my pink underwear (he's a pervert). Hopefully I'm interesting enough for people to actually read these, otherwise, I'll just go kill myself.



But I must leave now, as I have developed a sinus headache from the cold rainy weather here.

Hot chocolate sounds amazing.

Cheers.